i am: existing and doing a few interesting things, albeit they are not being documented on social media or this blog.  this is because the camera on my phone is jacked up, and every picture is blurry in the top left corner.  i've googled this issue and tried every suggested fix, from smacking the phone hard (always my first go to with about anything that's not working because what's better than something being partially fucked up when you can fuck it up entirely), to reinstalling things and resetting and rebooting and rediculous.  with all efforts exhausted except one - schlepping to the apple store at the mall (i would rather lit-tra-lee die) - i've decided to sit tight on the problem, post sparsely on instagram when i worry that everyone has forgotten about me, and see if i can use my brain to write some words to you young people who used to be so enraptured by shenanigans.

i'm sitting tight in raleigh for the 4th.  it's odd not spending it at the beach - i actually drove there yesterday to pick up the schnauzies (brian and i are co-parenting and everyone seems well adjusted to this arrangement and it's going smoothly, thank you for asking), and didn't feel compelled to stay.  it was overcast, humid AF and hot.  i haven't been in the sun in years now - no exaggeration.  it seems incongruous to shell out half my salary to creams and lotions and lasers for reducing and tightening and whitening and then head outside only to get sweaty and spotted with no hope ever of tanning in the least.  i'm white.  real white.  filed under battle i am no longer fighting.

so the schaunzies and i are catching up on some work and noming on pupperoni sticks (noming - present participle verb meaning to nom.  nom nom).  we're doing some minor decorating - i bought some art on the street in nyc and it needs framing and hanging, there's a new table skirt in my life and none of my pillows are quite right.  i'm staring at them, 'is this me now?".  we're going to solve that today.

see that wasn't so bad.  you got the picture with no pictures at all.  let's keep this going - i'll write, you'll read and we'll get that old thang back.